HorsefeathersHorsefeathersHorsefeathers

April 28, 2003

STUPIDITY WATCH: MAUREEN DOWD DEPT.

        The oh so clever wordsmith, Maureen Dowd, courageously warns us of the "fedayeen"(formerly the cabal of neocons) among us:---"...the fedayeen of the Defense Policy Board — Richard Perle, James Woolsey, Mr. Gingrich, Ken Adelman..."

        Well Maureen, perhaps you might read an article by fellow NYTimes journalist Craig Smith to become acquainted with some real Fedayeen and their victims:

        "...Farris Salman is one of the last victims of Mr. Hussein's rule. His speech is slurred because he is missing part of his tongue. Black-hooded paramilitary troops, the Fedayeen Saddam, run by Mr. Hussein's eldest son, Uday, pulled it out of his mouth with pliers last month, he said, and sliced it off with a box cutter. They made his family and dozens of his neighbors watch.
        "I thought they were going to execute me," said Mr. Salman, sitting on the floor in his family's small house in a run-down neighborhood of the capital a week after being freed by a frightened prison warden as Americans took control of the city. "When one of the fedayeen said they were going to cut my tongue out, I said, `No, please, just kill me..."

         Do you think Mr. Salman and the thousands of other fedayeen victims might quibble with Ms. Dowd's use of the term?

Posted at 11:11 AM by
PermalinkComments (1)Trackback (0)




April 27, 2003

HORSEFEATHERS DOCTRINE APPLIED TO MEGALOMANIACAL TYRANTS: THE CASE OF NORTH KOREA

        Now that our vacation from history during the Clinton years has ended, it is worth noting the limits of the ex-President's Oxford bull session, therapeutic approach to the business of nations. Like, an old vinyl record stuck in a groove, Mr. Clinton continues, post 9-11, in his logorrheic insistence that we should empathically talk, talk, talk with foes and friends at the UN, recognize why we have caused ourselves to be disliked by so many, and demonstrate our willingness to acknowledge our guilt and express our heartfelt mea culpas. What if, however, built deeply into human nature is the capacity for irrational envy and hatred, and what if this is not subject to reasoned, empathic modification? What if all the talk merely feeds the belief that action will never be taken? We now know that the years and years of UN talk helped Saddam consolidate and expand his megalomaniacal criminal enterprise masquerading as a government. The UN is itself a huge fraud in which thugocracies assault democracies while demanding an equality they withold from their own peoples. Talk, followed by treaties, followed by Jimmy Carter, followed by more treaties has helped North Korea become a nuclear power.
        Horsefeathers believes the proper application of military force can serve as a sobering dose of reality, helping to destroy the shared utopian fantasies of fanatics, tyrants, thugs and liberals alike.
        Liberalism in its classical form was a philosophy that rested on a clear-eyed view of human nature. As late as the 1950's when Lionel Trilling wrote The Liberal Imagination, it had not yet become a utopian faith. Trilling's liberalism was rooted in Freud's view of human nature, which accorded full weight to irrationalism. The 1960's ushered in a new kind of liberalism for the Clinton generation, closer to John Lennon's philosophy--"all you need is love"-- than to Freud's. In this new feel-your-pain culture it was assumed that such primitive, destructive emotions and drives as envy, hatred and murderous rage would succumb to empathy. If people seem to harbor irrational grievances and seem to hate us, it is our task to understand the unfairness of their victimization and correct it. After all, rage can only be the product of social injustice and unfairness. Egalitarianism would eliminate irrationalism. In the words of the hoodlums in West Side Story: "We're depraved on account of we're deprived." Many of us--call us neo-conservatives--realized long ago that our classic liberalism was no longer the philosophy of the Democratic party. Liberalism had become a secular faith resting on a naive and utopian view of human nature. It was not subject to the kind of critical thinking Trilling brought to it in the supposedly conformist 1950's. The attacks of 9-11 seem to have dealt a blow to the liberal faith of many and awakened them from their utopian dreams. We are learning, as David Brooks recently wrote, that there are some people out there who are just plain "batshit crazy", and in their crazy envy and hatred simply want to destroy us. As in dealing with your average hospitalized violent psychotic, talking with such people, showing we care, only inflames their sense of grievance. The most effective way to deal with them seems to be to forcefully subdue them first, or as Dr. Johnson said to a friend who urged understanding as a way of dealing with violent attacks: "If a madman were to come into this room with a stick in his hand, no doubt we should pity the state of his mind; but our primary consideration would be to take care of ourselves. We should knock him down first, and pity him afterwards."
        To put it simply, there are whole cultures, as well as individuals, who are stark, raving mad. And you don't have to be Arab to qualify. North Korea's current leader is one of them. Just dip into the official North Korean Central News Agency's publications to get a taste of this. You will learn that Kim Jong Il and his late father Kim Il Sung are the greatest figures in human history. The blood curdling, bellicose ravings and threats issuing from Kim Jong Il resemble nothing so much as the rantings of the late Iraqi Information Minister--Baghdad Bob.
        Psychotic individuals have one thing in common with wordsmith intellectuals and diplomats of the sort now counseling more talk, more effort to address North Korea's grievances: they both overvalue words. Many Arabs clearly believed the firebreathing words of defiance and threat issuing from their spokespersons--even as they were being destroyed by the U.S. military. Now they have been forced to give up their bizarre fantasies and begin the long painful task of accepting the reality of their failed cultures and polities.
        The Horsefeathers doctrine maintains 1)that the threat and the use of force is a better means for dealing with deranged individuals and nations than is talk. 2)When force is used, it should never be followed by apologies and promises not to use it again. Instead, Mr. Kim Jong Il should be shown a video of an Unmanned Aerial Vehicle, tracking down a car in the Libyan desert and placing a missile in its gas tank. Mr. Rumsfeld should send him (cc. Mr. Basher Assad) a personally autographed copy of the video we saw of an American guided missile flying under a bridge in Iraq to blow up a hidden military vehicle while sparing the bridge. And 3)with these videos Mr. Kim Jong Il should be informed that his natural allies, Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden are now, very likely, small dust particles being sifted by our scientists for traces of DNA. Even a megalomaniacal dictator will find his mind concentrated wonderfully by the very real prospect of being blown to smithereens in a fortnight.

Posted at 10:07 PM by
PermalinkComments (2)Trackback (0)




April 24, 2003

PUNISH FRANCE: HORSEFEATHERS COMPETITION

Thursday, April 24, 2003
FOX NEWS
WASHINGTON — "Secretary of State Colin Powell is warning France that there will be consequences for its refusal to support war with Iraq as the White House considers ways to punish the fair-weather ally...".

        Horsefeathers announces its first "Let's punish France" competition. Many of us have already switched from Bordeaux to Australian Shiraz and from bistro cuisine to tapas; we have laughed at countless jokes about the spineless Frogs. Now it's time for some serious 'punishment'. The very notion of pleasure in punishment may have been first articulated by a Frenchman, the Marquis de Sade. However, that should not prevent our readers from using their imaginations to help Colin Powell find the most enjoyable punishment for M. Chirac and his fellow weasels.
        The winner will be awarded a guest Horsefeathers blog to bash the French at whatever length and with whatever force is desired.

Posted at 04:13 PM by
PermalinkComments (44)Trackback (1)




April 23, 2003

HORSEFEATHERS NOMINEE FOR NYTIMES OP-ED COLUMNIST: DR. MOHAMMED T. RASHID

        The recent departure of Frank Rich from the NYTimes Op-Ed page left an opening for another liberal moralist to articulate the horrors of Bush's Amerika. Maureen Dowd and Paul Krugman are doing yeoman work, explaining how a cabal of Israel loving Neo-Cons and greedy capitalists are despoiling Iraq and our economy, but they need help to repel the forces of darkness. Howell Raines, meet Dr. Mohammed T. Rashid, columnist for the official Saudi newspaper, Arab News:
        "....When people in the Middle East made it clear that they were against the war, Americans (a sizable majority) could not understand how we could “stand for Saddam”. We didn’t. Saddam is not Iraq. Wanting him out does not by necessity mean the raping of Iraq under the banners of “liberation” and “rebuilding”. Now that the agenda is becoming reality, we need some answers.
        Haliburton and Bechtel, to name but two, have landed sizeable contracts from the fallen Babylonian cow. Dick Cheney and George Shultz (Reagan’s man) have undeniable ties with those two companies. Ahmed Chalabi, the Bush administration’s choice to lead Iraq, is a figure out of Enron itself...."

Posted at 09:09 PM by
PermalinkComments (4)Trackback (0)




April 22, 2003

April 22, 2003


EVERYTHING YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT DEMOCRACY BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK


Yale Kramer

Now that the United States and the Coalition have been brilliantly victorious in Iraq, the ideological assassins of the left have begun to sharpen their knives to ready the attack on the Administration’s next foreign policy aim, the plan to make the new Iraq a model for democracy in the Middle East. Their strategy will no doubt be to set the standard for what they would consider “a democracy” so high that if anything less is actually achieved it would be seen as a failure.

Most of us don’t really think too deeply about democracy as a concept. With all its faults, American democracy is still the best there is. So when we do think about democracy we think American democracy, the here and now democracy of USA 2003. Before we ask whether democracy USA 2003 is possible or even desirable in Iraq 2003 let's review a few hard facts about democracy.

Thanks to the non-profit work of Freedom House, www.freedomhouse.org, founded in 1941 to measure, monitor, and work toward democracy in nations around the world, we have a more or less accurate assessment of freedom in every one of those 184 member nations of the UN. Using a large set of political and civil rights characteristics—a rather expanded and sophisticated Bill of Rights—it rates each country on the degree of political and civil freedoms that are accessible to their citizens. (For anyone interested in the various checklists that are used, you can find them on the site.) These raw scores are then condensed for the sake of convenience to a scale of seven points—1 being most free and 7 being least free.

AND THE WINNERS OF THE OSCAR FOR FREEDOM ARE….

The countries with a 1.0 score are:
Andorra
Australia
Austria
Bahamas
Barbados
Belize
Canada
Cyprus (G)
Denmark
Dominica
Finland
Grenada
Iceland
Ireland
Kiribati
Liechtenstein
Luxembourg
Malta
Marshall Islands
Netherlands
New Zealand
Norway
Portugal
San Marino
Sweden
Switzerland
Tuvalu
United States
Uruguay

TUVALU, THE LAND OF THE FREE, AND THE HOME OF THE LOW-KEYED

Since I had never heard of Tuvalu, I decided to make sure it was really as free as it’s cracked up to be. So I googled it and this is what I found…..

Tuvalu is probably the smallest and most remote free nation in the world. It consists of nine tiny coral atolls in the South Pacific, although Tuvalu in the Polynesian language means “group of eight,” which suggests that even a small remote people have deep and paradoxical mysteries. It is somewhere between Hawaii and Australia, perhaps a couple of thousand miles east of Australia. These nine tiny island atolls are spread out over 500 miles from the northwestern most island of Nanumea to the southeastern most island of Niulakita—as though the hand of some Polynesian God had flung these little islands away in angry disregard for their worthlessness.

If you gathered all the islands together and made one pile of them you might get a total mass of about one tenth the size of Washington D.C. Each of them is about a couple of miles long and a mile wide. They have no arable land, no permanent crops, no potable water—most water needs must be met by catchment systems with storage facilities. Fortunately, there are plenty of coconut palms and fish.

As many people may know, an atoll is an island made up of a ring of coral with a central lagoon of ocean. The part of the island that we would call land consists of the ring of coral and sand, and this can vary from a few yards to a mile or so in width. Each atoll is extremely flat; its highest elevation may be 15 or 20 feet. When living on an atoll you have the sense of being in the middle of the ocean on a very large raft. One may even feel endangered by the sea, but protected by the invisible coral wall that rings and creates the island. In all but the most dangerous storms—in Tavalu, between November and March—the sea outside may be raging but the water in the lagoon and the people of Tuvalu remain calm.

Although there is no crime or parking problem in Tuvalu, life is not without its worries for this remote nation. The government is concerned about the possibility of the sea level rising due to global warming and having to watch the nation disappear into the sea. Arrangements have already been made with Australia and New Zealand for a mass evacuation should this possibility occur. There’s trouble even in paradise, after all.

European traders started working these ancient islands in the nineteenth century. They finally came under British jursidiction in 1877—known then as the Ellice Islands—and about a hundred years later, in 1978, became the independent Nation of Tuvalu.

Tuvalu is a constitutional monarchy with a parliamentary democracy (although for the past ten years it has been debating whether to become a republic.) It has universal suffrage and any citizen 18 or over may vote.

The legislative branch consists of a unicameral parliament with 15 seats elected by popular vote for a four year term.

The chief of state is Queen Elizabeth II, but since she is busy with things on her own island the real power in Tuvalu resides in the head of government, the Prime Minister, who is elected by a majority of parliament. The current PM, Mr. Sopoanga, beat out his opposition by one vote last year, 8 to 7. There are no political parties, and no lobby or pressure groups of any kind in Tuvalu since there are no taxes, no military, and no labor unions.

The population, of about eleven thousand, mostly Polynesian, is scattered over the nine islands, although one in particular—Funafuti—is where the action seems to be. Funafuti Centre is the capital of the nation. It has no private cars, trucks, or public transit system because it is only about a mile long and half a mile wide, but it does have an air strip, a hospital, Government House where the parliament sits, and a philatelic center which prints and sells beautiful Tuvalu stamps to collectors all over the world—the country’s major export and a solid contribution to the national GDP.

Practically everybody speaks English in addition to Tuvaluan and goes on Sunday to the Church of Tuvalu, which is that most democratic of churches, Congregationalist. On the other days seventy percent of the population work, mostly as fishermen or sailors, but merely at a subsistence level.

Although remote, Tuvalu attracts about a thousand tourists a year who are looking to find a really low-keyed experience. A top of the line hotel goes for about $40/night and the best (fish) dinner will run you about $15 including tip.

You may wonder what the Tuvaluans do for fun. Well, besides singing, dancing, and wearing flowers in their hair on festive occasions they love to play their national game Te Ano which means “the ball.” Two teams line up facing one another and one member kicks off by throwing a heavy ball at the opposing team; they, in turn must hit it back without letting the ball fall to the ground. If it does, a point is scored for the other team. It’s kind of like a heavy version of volley ball without the net. Ten points wins the game. The game ends with the losing team performing a funny song and dance routine to bring the winner back down to earth. How do you think this would play on Super Bowl Sunday?


WHAT ABOUT THE 145 OTHER COUNTRIES? WHERE DO THEY FIT IN?

Good question. For practical purposes Freedom House has divided all the countries into three large categories: Free (with ratings from 1.0 to 2.5), Partly Free (3.0 to 5.5), and Not Free (5.5. to 7.0).

Most of the developed countries in Europe and Asia have ratings of 1.5: France, the United Kingdom, Germany, Japan, Estonia, Poland, Taiwan. There are about thirty of them. The countries rated 2.0, with freedoms that may not be as well functioning
are a group of about fifteen that include Bolivia, Chile, Greece, Israel, and Romania.

Slightly further down on the scale, there are twelve nations rated 2.5, such as Bulgaria, Croatia, India, Mexico, and the Philippines that Freedom House still considers free countries, but just marginally so. This means that about 40% of the world’s population, about 2.4 billion people, are more or less free. Some are very free like those in the United States and Tuvalu, some free like the Italians and Greeks, and some like the Mexicans. A wide range of freedom, to be sure, but free nonetheless.

And then there is 24% of the world’s population (1.4 billion) that is only Partly free. In this group (3.0 to 5.5) there is a very wide range of lack of freedoms—from Brazil and Nicaragua, through Kuwait and Turkey, to Russia, Singapore, and Zimbabwe. There are significant freedoms that can be found in each one of this group of 60 countries, all widely different, but none of them rise to a level of consistent and systematic freedom to be found in the group of Free Countries.

Finally, there are about 45 countries—36% of the worlds population—that cannot be called even partly free. They are all in Africa, the Middle East, and Asia.

…AND HERE ARE THE TEN MOST UNFREE COUNTRIES ON EARTH

With a score of 7.0—here are the countries with the worst civil rights and political records:

Burma
Cuba
Equatorial Guinea
Iraq
North Korea
Libya
Saudi Arabia
Sudan
Syria
Turkmenistan

DEMOCRACY IS NOT ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL

This brief review of the political facts of life suggests several important notions that will come into play as we undertake the transformation of Iraq. The first is that democracy is not a single quality, but a complex set of inter-related components that can be identified and even roughly measured, and it is possible for a country to be quite good in some of these components and not so good in others.

Furthermore, democracy is not a static concept; a democracy can lose freedom and become merely Partly Free. Sri Lanka and Colombia are recent examples of such Partly Free democracies. In other cases, countries that replaced military regimes with elected governments can have less than complete transitions to liberal democracy. Guatemala fits the description of this kind of Partly Free democracy.

Finally, the survey suggests that each nation has a unique pattern of the various components of democratic functioning that depends on its history, cultural values, religion, and economic situation. For example, the United Kingdom is extremely tolerant of all religious practices today (a fact that has not always been true), yet despite its religious tolerance it still does not accept the idea that there must be a separation of church and state. And universal suffrage was not established in the United States until the 1920s, one hundred and forty years after Jefferson wrote the Bill of Rights. Democracy apparently, like great wine, takes time, patience, and hard work to develop.

So it should not be surprising or deemed a failure if the Iraqi government that evolves in the next years will not look like America 2003. It will have been worth the effort if it rises from despotism to even a Partly Free nation.



Posted at 02:41 PM by
PermalinkComments (1)Trackback (0)




April 21, 2003

SAUDI VALUES

        Delusional thinking is not limited to hospitalized psychotic individuals. It can infect whole societies and cultures. Paranoid delusions are useful ways of explaining failings of the individual: ("It's not that I'm inept, my boss is persecuting me") or of societies ("it's not our fault, it's those duplicitous Jews") For months Sheiks around the Arab world promised blood curdling blows to the "Western infidels". Now that the "crusaders" have decisively defeated Saddam's forces what is the reaction in the Arab world? So far, as when one challenges a psychotic's delusional system, new delusions form. How to explain what happened? It couldn't possibly be that Arab armies and societies are dysfunctional, cowardly, inept and barbaric. No, it must be that secret plots were at work. It was the CIA in league with Saddam, or it was the Mossad. The official Saudi English Language newspaper Arab News articulates the most common explanation--a variation on the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. They proudly link their mainstream "analysis" to that detestable forgery, calling it "Protocols of the Elders of Neocons" in which a feverish anti-Jewish conspiracy theory is elaborated. Hussein Shobokshi begins his article as follows:

"In this weekly telephone report Paul Wolfowitz expressed his anxiety to Sharon, the Israeli Prime Minister about the situation in the Middle East. “How are you doing?” asked Wolfowitz. “OK, OK,” answered Sharon, “but you must go to Syria.” Wolfowitz pondered, “this will be tougher to get the president’s okay on.” Sharon could not help but scream, ”He does not know Damascus from Des Moines, Iowa. Move it Paul. You can always tell him that this man of peace thinks it’s kosher,” concluded Sharon with a hysterical laugh...."

        This vile piece of Jew hatred is well within the mainstream of Arab thought. It appears in an online, official Saudi newspaper. It should help clarify our approach to the Arab world; just as one shouldn't placate and appease the delusional demands of psychotic patients, one should not search for ways to appease the Arab world. Instead, forceful sedation is the first step towards bringing the psychotic patient into congruence with reality. We have now administered two strong doses of tranquillization--Afghanistan and Iraq. The next required dose may be the Syrian Baathist regime.

Posted at 09:53 PM by
PermalinkComments (2)Trackback (0)




April 18, 2003

APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRA

4-18-03

        In today's Centcom briefing, Gen. Vincent Brooks described the 4th Infantry Division's annihilation of a group of Saddam loyalists in Samarra. Perhaps, as they were about to die they remembered an ancient tale:

A merchant in Baghdad sent his servant to the market. The servant returned, trembling and frightened. The servant told the merchant, "I was jostled in the market,turned around, and saw Death.

"Death made a threatening gesture, and I fled in terror. May I please borrow your horse? I can leave Baghdad and ride to Samarra, where Death will not find me."

The master lent his horse to the servant, who rode away, to Samarra.

Later the merchant went to the market, and saw Death in the crowd. "Why did you threaten my servant?" He asked. Death replied,"I did not threaten your servant. It was merely that I was surprised to see him here in Baghdad,
for I have an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."

Posted at 07:40 AM by
PermalinkComments (0)Trackback (0)




April 17, 2003

HORSEFEATHERS 'COLLATERAL DAMAGE' PRIZE

        Although our military strove mightily to minimize 'collateral damage' in Iraq, some occurred on the home front and it was quite welcome. Let us count the overblown reputations that were casualties of the war:

        1)Mainstream TV News. Will anyone ever believe CNN again following Eason Jordan's confession? Will anyone who witnessed it forget the stricken, ashen face of Judy Woodruff as she described the toppling of Saddam's statue? Or the eager, hopeful tone of CBS's Dan Rather reporting looting of the Baghdad museum by Iraqis as an event far more significant than our toppling a bloodthirsty tyrant and freeing tortured political prisoners.

        2)The NYTimes and New Yorker pundits--Apple, Dowd, Kristof, Friedman, Krugman, Klein, Hertzberg, Lemann and all their upper West Side acolytes. Their tut-tutting condescension to their presumed intellectual inferiors had them explaining why any action by George W. Bush constituted a rush to war and was doomed to fail, would land us in a quagmire, etc. Any successes were illusory, we must learn from our highly civilized French allies, blah, blah, blah. And, of course, there was Maureen Dowd's sly suggestion that Pat Buchanan was correct: war on Iraq was the product of a small cabal of Jewish neo-conservatives who pull the strings controlling President Bush


        3)Politicians: John-don't forget I fought in Vietnam- Kerry; Nancy Pelosi, whose fixed, plastic surgery smile, belied her worried words warning of impending disaster; Bill Clinton, explaining, for a fee, the superiority of his college bull session, talk, talk, talk, strategy for dealing with our enemies. Ted Kennedy and Howard Dean, reliving the glory days of Woodstock as they railed against corporate greed and had the vapors when contemplating military action against a tyrannical oppressor.

        4)The UN, exposed for all to see--a collection of primitive, thuggish autocrats and sly dissemblers bound together by their pathological anti-Americanism and hatred of Israel.

        5) The Hollywood left's herd of independent minds exposed as doltish fools whose stupidity is matched only by their capacity for condescension and self absorption.

        6) The retired TV generals, with the honorable exception of Fox's General Thomas Mc'Inerney, who was consistently right about the war and crystal clear in explaining its tactics and goals. The others seemed prepared to fight the Battle of the Bulge with several hundred thousand ground troops more than we actually needed.

        There is something especially satisfying about witnessing the moralists, with their revolting combination of sanctimony and condescenscion brought low. While open to other suggestions, Horsefeathers leans to awarding the prize to the Moral Arbiters: The Pope, for opposing an "immoral war", Jimmy Carter, who never met a dictator he didn't love, nor avoided an opportunity to morally condemn the United States., the various "reverends", from Al Sharpton to Desmond Tutu. Nelson Mandela is also a prime candidate in this category. He managed to condemn both the United States effort to topple Saddam and our one true Middle Eastern ally, democratic Israel. He did so while appropriating Jewish history for his own purposes when he said Mr. Bush wanted to "plunge the world into holocaust".
        Thus has the war to remove a 21st century tyrant cleared the air and exposed the hypocrisy of those who claim the mantle of morality.

Posted at 05:52 PM by
PermalinkComments (6)Trackback (0)




April 15, 2003

OUR FRIENDS THE SAUDIS CONFRONT MODERNITY

         Following the defeat of Saddam Hussein, debate has come to the Arab world. The question in an Arab News Editorial: "During a meeting last night with some Saudi friends on the outskirts of Riyadh, one of the topics raised was the high dowries fathers demand, which are causing many women to remain unmarried. " While a few Saudis are wondering how to vault all the way from the 11th into the 18th century, many object. For example, a recent effort to assert that women have identities of their own was thwarted by a judge who, confronted with a picture ID, said "...he did not believe in such IDs and did not accept them. And because women who appear before judges in courts here are told to cover their faces, our friend was instructed to bring two male relatives to testify that the woman under the veil was indeed the person she said she was. "

Posted at 06:51 PM by
PermalinkComments (2)Trackback (0)




April 14, 2003

IT'S HARD WORK, BUT FORTUNATELY THERE'S A SWISS BANKER WILLING TO DO IT

Is it worse to work as a trustee of Saddam Hussein than to work for a mafia godfather or a drug trader, or for Albanian serial killers, for people trading radioactive waste? If the answer is yes, everyone in Switzerland should destroy their passports.
---Elio Borradori, financial advisor to Saddam Hussein

Posted at 08:05 PM by
PermalinkComments (0)Trackback (0)




MORON WATCH-- COLUMBIA'S TUITION IS HOW MUCH?

Columbia University's Ass't Professor of Anthropology, Nicholas De Genova explains himself.

....Q. Your comment about wishing for "a million Mogadishus" has attracted the most attention. I read your letter in the "Columbia Daily Spectator," which gave some more context, but I have to confess I don't see how the context changes the meaning of that statement.

A. I was referring to what Mogadishu symbolizes politically. The U.S. invasion of Somalia was humiliated in an excruciating way by the Somali people. And Mogadishu was the premier symbol of that. What I was really emphasizing in the larger context of my comments was the question of Vietnam and that historical lesson. ... What I was intent to emphasize was that the importance of Vietnam is that it was a defeat for the U.S. war machine and a victory for the cause of human self-determination.

Q. I'm a little hazy on the rhetorical connection between Mogadishu and Vietnam.

A. The analogy between Mogadishu and Vietnam is that they were defeats for U.S. imperialism and U.S. military action against people in poor countries that had none of the sophisticated technology or weaponry that the U.S. was able to mobilize against them. The analogy between Mogadishu and Iraq is simply that there was an invasion of Somalia and there was an invasion of Iraq.

Posted at 06:28 PM by
PermalinkComments (4)Trackback (0)




OUR FRIENDS THE SAUDIS EXPLAIN

It's that neo-conservative cabal:

"Dr. Umayma Jalahma, a professor of Islamic Studies at Saudi Arabia's King Faysal University said that the American war on Iraq started in March to concur with Purim Feast, often celebrated in this month, which symbolizes the Jewish victory over Haman in Babylon [sic]."

Posted at 05:43 PM by
PermalinkComments (0)Trackback (0)





April 13, 2003


HOW TO WIN THE HEART AND MIND OF A PEACE ACTIVIST

A friend writes that her brother, a Professor Emeritus of Chinese History at the University of South Carolina, came across a student’s view of how to engage in discourse with a pacifist.

”…many of us will encounter "Peace Activists" who will try and convince us that we must refrain from retaliating against the ones who terrorized us all on September 11, 2001, and those who support terror.

These activists may be alone or in a gathering.....most of us don't know how to react to them. When you come upon one of these people, or one of their rallies, here are the proper rules of etiquette:

1. Listen politely while this person explains their views. Strike up a conversation if necessary and look very interested in their ideas. They will tell you how revenge is immoral, and that by attacking the people who did this to us, we will only bring on more violence. They will probably use many arguments, ranging from political to religious to humanitarian.

2. In the middle of their remarks, without any warning, punch them in the nose.

3. When the person gets up off of the ground, they will be very angry and they may try to hit you, so be careful.

4. Very quickly and calmly remind the person that violence only brings about more violence and remind them of their stand on this matter. Tell them if they are really committed to a nonviolent approach to undeserved attacks, they will turn the other cheek and negotiate a solution. Tell them they must lead by example if they really believe what they are saying.

5. Most of them will think for a moment and then agree that you are correct.

6. As soon as they do that, hit them again. Only this time hit them much harder. Square in the nose.

7. Repeat steps 2-5 until the desired results are obtained and the idiot realizes how stupid of an argument he/she is making.

8. There is no difference in an individual attacking an unsuspecting victim or a group of terrorists attacking a nation of people. It is unacceptable and must be dealt with. Perhaps at a high cost.

Lesson over, class dismissed.”

Thanks to Professor Hilel Salomon for passing on this sound advice.


Posted at 04:44 PM by
PermalinkComments (5)Trackback (0)




April 12, 2003

A THOUGHT IN TIME OF WAR

"There are well-meaning philosophers who declaim against the unrighteousness of war. They are right only if they lay all their emphasis upon the unrighteousness. War is a dreadful thing, and unjust war is a crime against humanity. But it is such a crime because it is unjust, not because it is a war. The choice must ever be in favor of righteousness, and this is whether the alternative be peace or whether the alternative be war. The question must not be merely, Is there to be peace or war? The question must be, Is it right to prevail? Are the great laws of righteousness once more to be fulfilled? And the answer from a strong and virile people must be "Yes," whatever the cost. Every honorable effort should always be made to avoid war, just as every honorable effort should always be made by the individual in private life to keep out of a brawl, to keep out of trouble; but no self-respecting individual, no self-respecting nation, can or ought to submit to wrong."
----Theodore Roosevelt: April 23, 1910

Posted at 02:44 PM by
PermalinkComments (0)Trackback (0)




April 11, 2003

WHAT ELSE IS CNN HIDING?

By Yale Kramer
April 11, 2003

        In Friday’s New York Times Eason Jordan , CNN’s chief news executive, wrote an op-ed piece that must surely be a prime candidate for Horsefeathers’ Moral Idiocy Award in the Journalism department. He tells with a mixture of pride and self-pity how pained he was for having to deceive CNN’s world-wide audience for twelve years about how bad the Saddam regime really was.
        He tells of knowing about assassinations, inhuman brutality, pervasive terror on a par with Stalin’s Soviet Union and Hitler’s Germany, but not breathing a word about this to the world at large. He visited Baghdad thirteen times. “Each time I visited, I became more distressed by what I saw and heard—awful things that could not be reported because doing so would have jeopardized the lives of Iraqi, particularly those on our Baghdad staff.”
        Instead of closing down the Bureau, he and the rest of the journalists at CNN decided that it was better to go on broadcasting to the world a fairy tale about Iraq. Making us think that Iraq was just another misguided little Arab country that doesn’t know any better. I’ve heard Big Lies before but this makes Goebbels look like a rank amateur.
        Jordan’s ridiculous rationalization for not telling the truth about what kind of regime Iraq really was—that he wanted to protect the staff safety—wouldn’t pass muster with anyone with a shred of journalistic responsibility. All he had to do to make them safe was to fire them and close the Bureau, and then assign one or two individual reporters to keep their ears open for a couple of years and then come home and write their story—the true story of the regime.
        What possible journalistic value could broadcasting half-truths, lies, varnished news have? The net result is that CNN succeeded not in informing its public but dis-informing it. CNN’s stupid policy of news access at all costs even if it’s not news has dealt its own credibility a serious blow. What else can you do except to wonder what else they are keeping to themselves.

Posted at 09:35 PM by
PermalinkComments (5)Trackback (0)




AL QAEDA EXPLAINS IT ALL

"First of all, what is happening today, Wednesday, in Baghdad – that is, Crusader forces entering the heart [of the capital] without fighting – surprised no one who examined the events according to military parameters, because the entrance into cities was anticipated, sooner or later, and the situation in the field did not allow steadfastness by the Iraqi defense [system as long as it functioned as a] regular [army]."

"Yes, we cannot deny that we were surprised at the ease of their entrance into Baghdad, and [also] that there was no resistance whatsoever by the city. So far we are incapable of understanding where the tens of thousands of the regular troops disappeared to overnight. We expected some resistance, at least of the level that was demonstrated that was at Um Qasr....

"...the Crusader enemy who has stripped the nation of all the meanings of [military] might, and there is no chance that in the years to come we will be allowed to possess the elements of strength. Thus, the best method of struggle for the weak against the strong is guerilla warfare."

         Of course we all know-- Chris Matthews told us so--there's no connection between the War on Terror and the war against Saddam.

Posted at 04:49 PM by
PermalinkComments (2)Trackback (0)




April 10, 2003

ROADMAP TO MADNESS: PALESTINIANS HAIL SADDAM

        While the butcher of Baghdad may no longer hold power over Iraqis he is still loved by grateful Palestinians. The indispensable MEMRI reports that the current Palestinian Authority Deputy Minister of Planning and International Cooperation (sic!) Adly Sadeq, a former columnist for Al-Hayat Al-Jadeeda, continues to express support for Saddam Hussein: "The man... was a thorn in the eyes of the imperialists. We will never change our mind [about him], no matter what [the attempts at] humiliation and deception. [We know] that the man made mistakes, which are an inevitable part of the experience of great leaders who rule complex societies in dangerous geographical regions during difficult times."

"The scenes of hysterical outpourings of joy intentionally taken by TV cameras after the Iraqi regime collapsed were attended by 100 or 200 people, while the hundreds of thousands of people in Iraq who chanted in support of Saddam Hussein were ignored. Bush and Blair, the leaders of this criminal imperialist aggression, did not heed the call of the tens of millions who went out into the streets to demonstrate across the world against the invaders. As we said a few months before the war, eliminating the Iraqi regime will not change history, will not defeat the people's will, and will give neither a character reference nor protection to the imperialist invaders."

Furthermore, Al-Ayyam columnist Abdallah Awwad wrote of the possibilities of retaliation: "Before the horror, death, destruction, and plunder perpetuated by the arrogant American murder machine, the weak can do nothing but look for a more lethal weapon to defend themselves. [The American] culture of death and murder cannot lead to the creation of [the] opposite culture [of democracy]. This is the law of history and life. The weak who possess no means of resisting [their] destruction, plunder, and death will again awaken to confront the American culture of murder and destruction. There is no room for surprises."

"Whether consciously or unconsciously, the Americans are paving a long, broad path for the death of tens of thousands, maybe even more, of their people. The American madness will bring nothing but counter-madness. They [Americans] have begun an era of destructive and lethal war for human beings in order to feed their aggressive military economic machine, and they will bear the responsibility for it."

Posted at 11:56 PM by
PermalinkComments (5)Trackback (0)




MAUREEN DOWD: THE LAST WORD

Classicist and historian Victor Davis Hanson, on Maureen Dowd:

        "On a minor note, I was pleased to read that Maureen Dowd yesterday criticized things that I (a.k.a. "Mr. Davis") had written as consistent with the thinking of some in the administration. I confess that her writing has long bothered me, always in times of national distress reflecting an elite superficiality that is out of touch with most of us in the America she flies over. It is not just that for the last two years she has been wrong about Afghanistan, wrong about the efficacy of the war against terror, and wrong about Iraq — despite yesterday's surprising sudden admission that "We were always going to win the war with Iraq." The problem is more a grotesque chicness that quite amorally juxtaposes mention of tidbits like alpha males, Manhattan fashion — and her own psychodramas — with themes of real tragedies like the dying in the Middle East and war's horror.

So she just doesn't get it. It is precisely because Mr. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Wolfowitz hate war, wish to avoid a repeat of the vaporization of 3,000 in Manhattan and the specter of further mass killing from terrorists, armed with frightening weapons from rogue states like Iraq, that they resorted to force. She evokes Sherman (who called something like 19th century Dowdism "bottled piety") with disdain, but forgets that Sherman, who saw firsthand the grotesqueness of Shiloh, proclaimed that war was all hell — but only after his trek through Georgia where he freed 40,000 slaves and destroyed the icons of the Confederacy, while losing 100 soldiers and killing not more than 600 young non-slave-holding Southerners, an hour's carnage at Antietam or Gettysburg.

It might be neat between cappuccinos to write about leaders getting "giddy" about winning a terrible war, or thinking up cool nicknames like "Rummy," "Wolfie," and titles like "Dances with Wolfowitz," but meanwhile out in the desert stink thousands of young Americans, a world away from the cynical Letterman world of Maureen Dowd, risk their lives to ensure that there are no more craters in her environs — and as a dividend give 26 million a shot at the freedom that she so breezily enjoys."

Posted at 04:55 PM by
PermalinkComments (1)Trackback (0)




April 09, 2003

THE EDUCATION PRESIDENT

Radical Palestinians lament Saddam's fall

ABC news reports that the fall of Saddam Hussein is mourned by Palestinians, who were grateful to the Iraqi tyrant for providing "educational opportunities and large cash handouts to the families of suicide bombers."

Posted at 09:39 PM by
PermalinkComments (4)Trackback (0)




OPENING DAY FANTASY

April 8, 2053

The New York Yankees opened their season with a 7-3 win over the Damascus Pitas. The winning runs scored on a grand slam by the Yankees' Ahmed Chalabi, Jr., their newly signed Iraqi left fielder. Chalabi, speaking through an interpreter, said that baseball was a favorite Iraqi sport ever since American troops liberated the country on VI (Victory in Iraq) day, April 9, 2003.

Posted at 08:17 PM by
PermalinkComments (3)Trackback (0)




April 08, 2003

April 8, 2003

THE HORSEFEATHERS PLAN: WHAT TO DO UNTIL THOMAS JEFFERSON ARRIVES IN BAGHDAD

Yale Kramer

It is foolish to think that you can transform the values and mores of 1300 years of Arab culture in a few years of military occupation by imposing democracy from the top down.

DEMOCRACY FROM THE BOTTOM UP

A more realistic possibility for some degree of gradual change in Iraq in the direction of Western and democratic societies might be the creation of bottom-up institutions which give something valuable to the Iraqi people without taking too much of their old life away from them. The problem is that they don’t know that they yearn for liberty and freedom and that what has kept them enslaved for so long are their own tribal ways to which they are so attached, and which they must, sooner or later, give up or change.

After a period of military stabilization, during which the Coalition forces can mop up the regular and irregular forces left over from the Saddam regime, get rid of the WMD, identify who the good guys and the bad guys are, provide humanitarian aid, and repair some of the infra-structural damage, the HORSEFEATHERS PLAN will be ready for implementation.

FORT APACHE, IRAQ

It is a well known fact that after a war the victors establish a more or less permanent presence in the conquered land. The American Army and Air Force has had a garrison in Germany for almost fifty years, which until recently was welcomed by the Germans. We have a Marine/Naval base on a long-term lease in Guantonamo, Cuba, completely surrounded by our enemy. We have had a large Army base in South Korea protecting the demilitarized zone and the people of Seoul for forty years. These were and are important strategic points in our modern view of our place in the world.

What we should do is to remove our garrison from Germany, which no longer welcomes it. It was necessary during the cold war but is not important strategically at present. And we should remove our air base from Saudi Arabia. It has recently become an embarrassment for both the Saudis and us. The removal will enable us to deal with the Saudis more realistically, putting political pressure on them when it is necessary.

Instead we must establish a naval base in the south of Iraq, on the Persian Gulf, an air base in the north of Iraq to replace the Saudi base, and in central Iraq a large Army base. These bases would be a strategic asset for the Central Command if ever a military force is needed in the Middle East or South Central Asia. Their presence would not only stabilize the overheated politics of the new Iraq, but the whole region as well.

In addition, our forces would be able to guarantee the safety of the Iraqi people and their oil fields from incursions of hostile neighbors or terrorists. In a sense we would be a mercenary army and the Iraqi government would be our client. One major advantage to both the Iraqis and the U.S. would be that it would save the Iraqi government the great cost of raising its own army, and some of that saving might be used to defer the cost of running the U.S. garrison.

The semi-permanent emplacement of a U.S. military garrison in Iraq is the lynchpin of the HORSEFEATHERS PLAN. It supports and integrates the other components of the plan.

THE OIL, AH YES, THE OIL

In the old days they used to say “winner take all,” or “to the victors belong the spoils.” In fact, even today it is still true in the Arab world. But in the high-minded world of the Anglosphere, where Western values are dominated by Judeo-Christian ideals and politesse we still must disguise the use of power in the assertion of national interests as acts motivated by altruism—the ‘liberation of Iraq.’

Let me see, how can I say this without seeming…too…unilateral. Before the war we were accused by France of really being interested only in getting hold of Iraqi oil. It’s not surprising that France—the whited-sepulcher of all time—should say this, since its oil companies have been in a conspiracy with Saddam to steal oil assets from the Iraqi people for the last twenty years.

So let’s not be shy or shamed. We’re going to be fair to the Iraqi people for a change, but we’re going to charge them for reconstructing Iraq and for protecting them and their oil assets.

What’s most important, though, is that we must set up an Iraqi Oil Commission which will be chaired by the Americans and contain members of the coalition that actually sent men and materiel. The purpose of this commission is to administer Iraqi oil income so that it goes to the Iraqi people and not to despotic leaders or corrupt politicians. It will administer current assets and develop future assets.

But its two most important functions will be to maintain the unity of the country and de-Arabize oil in the Middle East.

Since the oil fields are not equally distributed in the country, but massed in the north and the south, the temptation is always present for the Kurds in the north and the Shia in the south to run off with these assets and secede from the country and finance their own independence. In our plan all the income flows through the Commission and is dispersed to each section on a per capita basis. Each sector will get its rightful share. This scheme guarantees national unity and the legitimacy of the Commission is in turn guaranteed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. military.

The second reason for centralizing Iraq’s oil assets and entrusting them to an independent Commission is to dissociate Iraq from OPEC, which has demonstrated, since its inception, a tendency to use the oil resources of the Arab world en masse as political weapons against American foreign policy. Up to now we have depended on our pseudo-friends, the Saudis, to protect us from OPEC. Now we can tell them to suck a lemon if they don’t like our policy.


A SWISS CONFEDERATION? YOU MUST BE JOKING

Remember Orson Welles’ famous speech in The Third Man, in which he says “…you know what the fellow said: In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed; and they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock.”

It was a great line, but not quite true—at least not the part about brotherly love and five hundred years of democracy and peace in Switzerland. Nowadays we tend to think of Switzerland as stable as the Alps and the Swiss Franc, the symbol of peace and neutrality, and a country that runs like a clock without having to be wound. That’s not the way it always was. In fact until 1848 it was as warlike and unstable as the rest of Europe for the previous thousand years. It had constant wars with Austria, France, and Italy. It had countless internal and civil wars amongst its own cantons. Until 1848 its 26 cantons were sovereign states, each with its own currency, laws, customs, passports, etc.

Even today it can be divided into four distinct language sectors—French, Italian, German, and Romansh—twenty-six cantons, and within these, 3000 communes. Each of these is autonomous and Swiss citizenship can be conferred only by one or another of these communes.

The central government is relatively weak and controls tariffs, communications, transport, water conservation, the postal service, and the monetary system. The government is administered by the Federal Council, which is a seven member collegial board, an organization of equals with a rotating presidency, with each member presiding over a federal department. As though the U.S. cabinet administered the government without a president.

The real power over people’s everyday lives resides in the cantons and communes. They decide who votes, and for what; they decide on the criminal and civil code of each canton, and how much shall be spent and for what purposes.

When Napoleon conquered Switzerland he tried to impose French law on the Swiss. It was a complete disaster and lasted only as long as Napoleon. The Swiss are a stubborn, proud people and over the past 700 years have developed mores and values which they prize. And that is what the organization of the Swiss government reflects—a jealous guarding of the values and cultures they wish in their respective autonomous cantons, and an acknowledgment of some degree of central regulation as a necessity in a modern world.

One could do a lot worse than use a Swiss paradigm for the new Iraq. Four states—a Shiite state in the south, a Kurdish state in the north, a Sunni state in the center, and a religiously mixed state in the city of Baghdad. Each of these states would develop and control the political and ethical values of the citizens of each state without much influence from the central government. The people of each respective community would choose their communal leaders as well as those who would represent them in a central constituent body.

The central government would look after functions that require a nationwide purview—commercial codes, monetary system, water control, transportation and roads, etc.


MR. SMITH GOES TO BAGHDAD—ADAM SMITH, THAT IS

The next most important component of THE HORSEFEATHERS PLAN is to bring a free market to Iraq and to do what is necessary to encourage capital formation and entrepreneurship there. This must be understood as a long-term project—the creation of business institutions completely independent of governmental politics.

The array of instruments and institutions would be too numerous to specify here but some of the most important would be such things as a modern western central banking system that regulates interest rates, a code governing private property laws and liability, a uniform commercial code, incorporation and contract laws. None of these requires the formation of a specific form of elected government. These institutions would be regulatory agencies run by technocrats and bureaucrats. They would be the most important part of a central government but would have little or no political power over the federated states.

A FREE PRESS

We must support the installation of a free press—in all the media—by encouraging private enterprise through some degree of government subsidy. The Iraqis must have access to The Honeymooners re-runs, Law and Order, and Fox News if they are to understand America.


THE HORSEFEATHERS PLAN: DEMOCRACY FROM THE BOTTOM UP

1. An American military presence that guarantees regional stability, oil assets, and business development.

2. American administration of oil assets that prevents internal fragmentation and external incursion. It also de-Arabizes control over Middle-Eastern oil.

3. Creation of a government with a weak central administration and strong federated states that each determine their own culture.

4. Coalition encouragement of market and business oriented institutions, allowing democratic ideas to emerge from a prosperous bourgeois business community.

5. Subsidization of a private enterprise free press.


Posted at 04:29 PM by
PermalinkComments (1)Trackback (0)




April 07, 2003

WARTIME BASEBALL

"The game has a cleanness. If you do a good job, the numbers say so. You don't have to ask anyone or play politics. You don't have to wait for the reviews."
-- Sandy Koufax

"If I were playing third base and my mother were rounding third with the run that was going to beat us, I'd trip her. Oh, I'd pick her up and brush her off and say, 'Sorry Mom, but nobody beats me."
-- Leo Durocher

"Since baseball time is measured only in outs, all you have to do is succeed utterly; keep hitting, keep the rally alive, and you have defeated time. You remain forever young."
--Roger Angell

        Today is Opening Day of the baseball season at Yankee Stadium--or it was supposed to be. Thanks to a swirling snow storm I feel like Hall of Fame Shortstop Honus Wagner who said, when asked what he did in the off season: "I stare out the window and wait until spring."
        This is a wartime Opening Day and it stirred memories of the days when I first became a baseball fan. "Fan" is short for fanatic--and I became one during the second World War. My attachment was to the Yankees, the team, long before I became what I am now, a lover of the game. The Yankees in those days, though, were not the Yankees of legend. Most of the great stars had gone off to war. No DiMaggios among those who remained. Instead, more typical was Oscar Grimes, a third baseman who seemed to make at least one error per game. I came to love the players of legend while rooting for the hapless contemporary bumblers. It's how I learned the truth of Dr. Johnson's observation that "Hope is a species of happiness."
        The unknown past was far more glorious than the mundane present. I could only hope for future glories. I read about the great players--Ruth, Gehrig, Dickey, Lefty Gomez--and above all, the peerless exemplar, the great Joe DiMaggio. I yearned for the end of the war when that greatness would return, and was certain that if I targeted my toy bombardier sight on Tokyo I could bring that day closer. In my mind, the war against Hitler and Tojo was a war to protect and preserve the American way of life, i.e. the game of baseball. Was my childhood conflation of America and baseball silly? Perhaps. Certainly it was an oversimplification. However, one suspects that should the ayatollahs, Osamas, Saddams and assorted Islamo-Nazis have their way, we can anticipate baseball will be quickly forbidden as a creation of godless American infidels. Baseball, as Jacques Barzun pointed out,("Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball, the rules and realities of the game.") is the quintessence of America. The most beautiful game ever invented embodies the best of American values and beliefs--individual initiative, competition and skill, blended with teamwork,and open to innovative and creative intelligence. Once again, as the season begins, we are at war, but unlike World War II, major league baseball players are not entering military service. In World War II major league baseball was played, but close to 90% of major leaguers, more than 1100, served and were unavailable. That was a time when athletes would have been ashamed not to serve. In 1945,the GI's World Series in Europe took place before 50,000 servicemen in a stadium in Nuremberg, Germany, one formerly used for huge Hitler rallies. Former National League pitcher Sam Nahem, supported by Negro League star Leon Day, led the Overseas Invasion Service Expedition (OISE) all-stars to a thrilling five-game victory against the mighty 71st Infantry Division. The level of play was probably higher than in the Cubs-Tigers world series back home.
        The next season many of the pre-war stars, like DiMaggio, Ted Williams and Hank Greenberg returned. Many had lost their skills and even DiMaggio, never returned to the skill level he reached in the 1941 season. By the time I saw him play for the first time in 1946 he was a good player who flashed moments of superb clutch play, great moments, but fell short of his sustained pre-war greatness. Some pre-war stars like the Senators' speedster, shortstop Cecil Travis, suffered frozen feet in the Battle of the Bulge and never matched his pre-war effectiveness; Skippy Roberge, a Braves infielder, suffered wounds in Germany that hampered his post-war career; Lou Thuman, a Senators pitcher, suffered wounds that ended his playing days; and Athletics pitcher, Phil Marchildon, who was shot down over Germany and spent one year as a POW, struggled with shattered nerves to regain his effectiveness. They at least made it back; a number of players were killed in action while serving in Europe. Elmer Gedeon, who played the outfield for Washington in five games in 1939, was killed when the B-26 Martin Marauder he was piloting was hit by flak. Minor leaguers killed in action in Europe included Ardys Keller who caught for Toledo; Bill Sarver, a centerfielder with Augusta; Lefty Brewer, a pitcher with Charlotte; Elmer Wright, who pitched for San Antonio; and Ordway Cisgen a pitcher with Utica.
        After the war came the glory days of Casey Stengel's Yankees, but I retain a special place in my affections for the hapless losers of my wartime childhood. They made me aware of the greatness of America and the greatness of the game that transcends even the individual players. It made me conscious of why our soldiers were willing to fight and die in far off lands. It was clear again when I stood in the left field stands and cheered President Bush as he threw out the first ball in the playoffs post 9-11, 2001. As Phillip Roth wrote, baseball "made me understand what patriotism was at its best". Other games may have surpassed baseball in popularity, games like basketball, time-constrained and more suited to a frantic TV schedule. However, I've noticed when our current generation of heroic soldiers are asked about the war, they grin and say things like "we're in the late innings and we're going to win".
Play Ball!

Posted at 03:05 PM by
PermalinkComments (5)Trackback (0)




TWO BIG LIES

By Rita Kramer

        Looking through this week’s crop of print, from the New York Times to its counterparts on the European scene, it struck me that in the world of ideas and attitudes that effect political action, there have been two great propaganda victories since the middle of the last century. Two Big Lies, one domestic and the other international.
        Here in the United States we have witnessed the dismantling of an entire education system, from kindergarten through university, as its purpose has been redefined. The function of schooling is no longer seen to be the transmission of the culture of Western civilization, the history of its achievements and struggles, its literature and arts, of the evolution of the institutional framework of democracy and the cultivation of the skills required to understand and extend it. The function of the schools is now generally agreed to be achieving social change. The schools have become an agency for the pursuit of radical egalitarianism. One influence has been the movement known as Multiculturalism, which maintains that all cultures are equal, those characterized by obedience to religious fanaticism and those where individual freedom has led to technological, medical and other life-enhancing advances. Another has been bilingualism, according to which immigrants need not adopt the language and culture of the country they so eagerly sought to enter but should be encouraged to retain the language and customs of the countries from which they came, making it less and less likely, incidentally, that they participate in the mainstream to a degree that would enable them to succeed in this country. Where language and customs used to be retained as a private matter, in the home, it is now considered the role of the school curriculum to encourage separatism and a sense of belonging to a specific subgroup rather than to the nation.
        It is not even questioned today that the purpose of higher education is to achieve “diversity” in its student body even if, despite the Constitution’s prohibition of discrimination on the basis of race, it means awarding extra “points” to members of one race to make sure they are admitted despite having lower grades. To reread Cardinal Newman or Robert Maynard Hutchins on the function of the university is to be reminded of what liberal education once meant. It was about becoming familiar with what Matthew Arnold referred to as the best that has been thought and written. To reread the Constitution is to be reminded that men and women are supposed to be treated as individuals and not as members of a race.
        Today the argument is mainly about how best to enforce diversity and few seem to remember that a half century ago the aim of legislation was to deal with people as individuals and not as members of any group. It was about equality of opportunity, not equality of results.
        Redefined as agencies of social change, our schools, colleges, and universities have lost their original mission. It was academic, not political.

        The other Big Lie of the age is the imaginative construction of a people called the Palestinians. They started out as Arabs, akin to the Jordanians of the Hashemite Kingdom, before a mythology began to accrue to them. Displaced by the war raged by the Arabs against the new state of Israel, they could have been accommodated in Arab lands, just as the Jewish refugees from Egypt, Syria and other Arab countries were absorbed by Israel. But it was far more useful for their Arab brethren to keep them in camps (by now cities with infrastructures and institutions supported at huge expense by the U.N.) where their smoldering frustration could be supported, encouraged, and publicized so that, turned against Israel, it could be deflected from their true oppressors, their fellow Arabs. And they could excite the sympathy of the world as victims of an occupation. Few of their parents or, by now, grandparents had lived in the barren area that is now Israel until Jews began to settle there in the early years of the twentieth century, bringing modern agricultural methods, irrigating the land, providing medical advances and raising the standard of living. And many of them left only because the leaders of the Arab invasion assured them they would be returning within days of an assured victory. Then as now, the Arab agenda is to destroy Israel, to “push it into the sea.” This rhetoric is ubiquitous in the press and public pronouncements of every Arab country—even those that, like Egypt, have formally made peace with Israel. But that is news that is not considered fit to print not only by the New York Times but almost any publication in Europe, with its long-established traditions of anti-Semitism.
        So by now the world accepts the myth of the martyred victims of an unjustifiable occupation (undertaken, as it happens, in self-defense, not a campaign of conquest), “freedom fighters” justified in blowing up children, women and civilian men to rid themselves of the Israeli presence and be rewarded with a state of their own from which they can pursue that end more efficiently.

        The press is a marvelous thing. It can inform and educate. It can also repeat a lie until everyone comes to believe it. Schools are for achieving racial balance. There is a people called the Palestinians who are victims of the Jews.

Posted at 09:27 AM by
PermalinkComments (6)Trackback (0)




April 05, 2003

THE CHATTERING CLASS SPEAKS

BAGHDAD, Iraq (04-05-03) "Substantial numbers of coalition troops were near the center of Baghdad on Saturday and had no plans to pull back, a U.S. Central Command spokesman said."

Quagmire!, Vietnam!, no shock, no awe!,..blah, blah, blah.. the wrong war plan! no war plan!, supply lines stretched too thin!, rush to war!, start delayed too long!, weather too hot!, give diplomacy a chance!, diplomacy botched!, blah, blah, blah... mass casualties!, humanitarian crisis!, we went too fast!, we outran our supply lines!, we’ve slowed!, we’re too slow!, we're bogged down! not enough infantry! blah, blah, blah...Stalingrad!, Republican Guard!, elite Republican Guard!, special elite Republican Guard!, the highly trained, really, really, special, elite Republican Guard units!, blah, blah, blah... the human shields!, car bombs!, jihad warriors!, fedayeen Saddam!,blah, blah, blah…besides, no ties to terrorists, stronger sanctions could work, more inspections, no WMD’s, they might use WMD’s, not enough questioning, too much uncertainty, Rumsfeld’s too arrogant, unilateralism, it’s too big a gamble, we’re poking a hornet’s nest, more terror in U.S., the public won’t tolerate casualties, huge protests will tear the country apart, blah, blah, blah. How do we know? Why Maureen Dowd, R.W Apple, Joe Klein, Nick Kristof, Peter Jennings Teddy Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, Tom Daschle, Jimmy Carter, Jacques Chirac, Vladimir Putin, the Pope, Hans Blix, Kofi Annan, Janeane Garafolo, Martin Sheen and Barbra told us so.

Posted at 06:56 AM by
PermalinkComments (3)Trackback (0)




April 04, 2003

PALESTINIAN ARABS SHOW THEIR EAGERNESS FOR DEMOCRACY

While our State Dept. utopians continue to assume that Arabs yearn for Western style democracy, the Arab masses offer their opinion:

(4-4-03)Ha'aretz.com
"Thousands of Palestinians took to the streets of Gaza and the West Bank on Friday after Muslim prayers, chanting in support of Saddam Hussein and warning President George W. Bush that "Islam's fighters" would defeat him. .."

Posted at 08:52 AM by
PermalinkComments (0)Trackback (0)




April 03, 2003


April 2, 2003

THE MOTHER OF ALL OXYMORONS: ARAB DEMOCRACY

Yale Kramer


Just when I thought all the foreign-policy nonsense had been stuffed back in the bag—this thing pops out. Apparently, there is no end to the worldly mischief created by the tireless Imps of Idealism and Morality. They never rest, they never sleep. We must always be on the alert for their next noble plan, their latest high-minded proposal.

Somehow in the months-long struggle that the Bush Government has been carrying on with Old Europe over how to deal with the Iraqis, some of the Administration’s sound and realistic policies have come to be corrupted by the high ideals and chimeric visions of the past. A form of Utopianism is on the loose, a neo-Wilsonian urge to make the world safe for democracy again.

Early in the formation of Bush’s Iraq policy the aim was simple and militarily achievable—“regime change.” Then came “liberation of the Iraqi people,” and, finally, “the ultimate goal of regime change is liberal democracy.” It does not require the mind of a policy wonk to see that the idea of “liberating” the Iraqi people and transforming them into liberal democrats is a way of sugar coating the naked aggression that is implied in getting rid of Saddam. It represents a fear of our own power and of the assertion of our appropriate role of leadership in the world of nation states. Our enemies and rivals call this “unilateralism” or “imperialism.”

Like a guilt-ridden, frightened grownup who is afraid to assume his rightful responsibility lest his parents—“old Europe”—get angry with him and withdraw their affection and esteem, we make up rationalizations and fantasies that fly in the face of facts and history. So we have to tell ourselves and the hand-wringing appeasers of Europe that the Iraqis are waiting for us to liberate them, that they will dance in the streets when we arrive, that they are lining up to buy copies of the “Federalist Papers.”

Even now, after barely two weeks of war, the chimerical idea that the Iraqis are longing to breathe the free air of democracy is beginning to dissolve. The reports piling in, the pictures on our TV screen, are beginning to reveal a different pattern. It is clear that the non-Arab population in the north—the Kurds and their leaders—are our allies. At least until the war is over. They want Saddam out as much as we do, perhaps more, and they are willing to fight with us to achieve this common aim. And perhaps some but not all of the Shiites in the south are waiting to be freed from Saddam.

But everything else we see and hear suggests that a significant number of Iraqis do not feel oppressed by Saddam, and regard him as their rightful leader. There seems also to be a significant number of Iraqis who are politically unsophisticated and whose children are hungry and who would gladly kiss anyone’s hand that will feed them—George Bush, Saddam Hussein, or Sean Penn. The only Iraqi who appeared unambiguously anti-Saddam was the little chap on the first or second day of ground invasion who hammered away at Saddam’s poster image with his shoe as he grinned for the camera and danced an obsequious little dance in hope of a little baksheesh. We can’t seem to understand why there is still so much resistance to the fulfillment of our dreams—the easy toppling of this evil regime.

The images suggest an alternative view of the situation there. Perhaps there is no large un-ambivalent Iraqi populace waiting to be freed and turned into liberal democrats. Perhaps this number has been greatly exaggerated by the gurus and is merely wishful thinking in order to fit the rationalization that Iraqis are starving for democracy as well as food.

Most opponents of the idea of building a democratic nation in Iraq have also opposed the war to depose and replace Saddam. Horsefeathers does not oppose the war to rid the world of Saddam—in fact we would go even a little further, but more about that later—but only the plan to radically rebuild a nation in our own image that may not want to be changed. There are sound psychological and historical reasons for our view that democratizing Iraq is a fool’s errand.

ABOUT THE CHANGING OF HEARTS AND MINDS


As some of our readers may know Steve Rittenberg and I have been practicing and teaching psychiatry and psychoanalysis for a combined total of 75 years. We may not know a whole lot about many things, but about baseball and hearts and minds, between us, we know a thing or two. And I can tell you that it’s very, very hard to change hearts and minds. You can change behavior easily enough—all you have to do is put a pistol to somebody’s head and tell them to do what you want, and the chances are they’ll do it. But even with people who are very intelligent and highly motivated to change, it is extremely difficult to change a person’s basic attitudes (hearts and minds). Fortunately it can be done, but only after years of hard work on the part of a patient and a doctor—and most ordinary people cannot tolerate such frustrating circumstances. So only the most determined, the most unhappy, and those with a considerable amount of inner resources eventually achieve important changes in their lives.

What does all this have to do with post-war Iraq? Well, nation-building, bringing liberal democracy to Iraq requires changing the hearts and minds—the attitudes—of millions of individuals, most of whom are barely literate, unworldly, uninformed—or worse, misinformed—and happy to have an unskilled job, a roof over their heads and some food on the table. They are not unsatisfied by a life that a CBS journalist, or a Columbia University assistant professor would find boring or degrading—a regular job, a family that’s not starving, and Baghdad TV for a couple of hours every night. The only change they want is more of the same—a little more pay, a little more room, a little more food, a TV that works all the time. They already have a spiritual life—non-secular—that satisfies them. They are not interested in becoming multi-lateral or widening their spiritual horizons. The point is that most Iraqis live simple, unchanging lives and want them to continue that way. This is not to say that they are worse than people in other cultures. On the contrary, they are very much like people the world over. Most people do not want their lives to be transformed. They want to maintain the status quo. In fact people are probably hard-wired for it, the Constancy Principle, some call it. Please, no big changes.

So much for the psychology of it.


IN THE ARAB WORLD TRIBALISM TRUMPS ALL


In the last thirteen hundred years, only one Islamic country has become a democracy—Turkey. But in all that time there has never been an Arab democracy. And perhaps there never can be. Some would say that Arab ideals and representative democracy are incompatible, that in Arabic Islam state authority and religious authority have always gone together.

The majority of Arab states reached independence shortly after the Second World War. For thirty or forty years now the Arab states have been free to make whatever political or social arrangements they choose. Under the cover of some weird conglomeration of nationalism and socialism they all chose untempered autocratic power.

The reason is that the influence of fundamental Islam in the Arab world makes it deeply inhospitable to democratic and liberal principles. While the citizens of longstanding democracies accept a set of basic assumptions—the rule of law, majority rule, equality before the law, the idea of a loyal opposition, the separation of church and state—Arab societies lack such essential democratic concepts and instead vest authority in the word of Mohammed, his interpreters the imams, and the tribal leaders.

The essence of Arab societies is tribal identity, kinship networks, and conceptions of collective honor. These are what organize and regulate the relations of everyday life. In such a context democratic principles are meaningless and incomprehensible. How could a modern democratic bureaucracy function, for example, if officials remain loyal primarily to tribe or family? There can be no such thing as disinterested public service. Public office becomes a means of benefiting your family and harming your enemies, not applying rules fairly.

Modern working democracies developed in different ways. And although they all share the political values mentioned above, their respective governments can be quite varied—the United States, Switzerland, Singapore, the United Kingdom—all democracies and all somewhat different.

One thing that they all share though is a basic requirement of all functioning democracies: a class of people who have a strong devotion to and understanding of its principles—a professional bureaucracy. The more experienced and traditional the more robust and stable is the government. Iraq has no professional, public-spirited,bureaucratic class, nor has any other Arab nation. What substitutes for one in Iraq is the members of Saddam’s extended family and his cronies from Tikrit. In Saudi Arabia, of course, it is the 7000 Saudi Princes.

And experience with nearly a hundred newly independent countries all of which “intended” to become democratic suggests that only a tiny handful, those largely influenced by Western values—Chile, Poland, Hungary, Taiwan—show any real gains in this direction. The rest, from the Congo to Uzbekistan, suffer from endemic corruption, illegitimate elections and a wide array of political ills that derive from the absence of a modern professional bureaucratic class that values the basic democratic ideas that come only from being trained and educated in Western democracies.

WHAT ABOUT JAPAN?

One of the major arguments in the repertoire of those who propose democracy for Iraq is that we were able to transform Japan after the Second World War in less than a generation. There, they say, we entered a country as non-western and un-democratic as Iraq and eventually wrangled the Japanese people around to democracy.

What is overlooked by the proponents of democracy for Iraq is that Japan was a culturally homogeneous nation, unlike the contentious cultural jungle of Iraq, and that the Japanese people were, at least at that time, obeisant to the wishes of their Emperor, and that when he concurred with the Military Governor, MacArthur, in the new political changes his subjects went along uncritically.
But most important, according to Stanley Kurtz, in the Winter 2003 issue of City Journal, “In embracing democracy under American occupation, the Japanese drew on a long, if imperfect, democratic tradition.” Soon after Admiral Perry opened Japan to the outside world in 1853, Japan’s leaders started on a series of democratic reforms which resulted in an authentic constitutional system by 1889. Kurtz points out that these democratic reforms were encouraged by “…the ‘liberty and popular rights’ movement—a remarkable efflorescence of the liberal spirit that deeply and enduringly changed Japanese society. As early as the 1870s, this intellectual movement had disseminated such Western thinkers as Mill and Rousseau to the farthest corners of Japan, where their influence inspired the Japanese to demand democracy.”

Through these influences authentic national political parties developed, and “Western political concepts like that of a ‘loyal opposition’ became part of the nation’s political culture.” It is clear that the model of 1945 Japan is largely irrelevant as an argument in favor of the democratic transformation of 2003 Iraq.

If not democracy then what? What should we do with Iraq when the US takes over?

COMING SOON: THE HORSEFEATHERS PLAN FOR POST WAR IRAQ


Posted at 04:34 AM by
PermalinkComments (4)Trackback (0)




April 02, 2003

THE MORAL OBLIGATION TO BE INTELLIGENT

        Nicholas De Genova, the Columbia professor of Anthropology who called for the deaths of American soldiers, is already being presented by his defenders as a victim of Mc'Carthyite assaults on the First amendment and academic freedom. Before we hear more sanctimony from the Columbia administration, there is one question in l'affaire De Genova that has not been addressed: is it the responsiblity of the university to have minimal standards of intelligence in hiring faculty? Once upon a time Lionel Trilling,the defining intellectual voice of Columbia for a generation, spoke of teachers, scholars and intellectuals' "moral obligation to be intelligent". This was the ideal towards which his students struggled, as Trilling insisted not only on critical intelligence, but clarity of expression. This standard was rigorously applied, as those of us who were his students recall. Let us, for the moment, put aside questions of whether Nicholas De Genova was exercising his first amendment rights when he called for the killing of his fellow citizens; let us forego discussing the relationship between academic freedom and academic responsibility. Instead, let us look at whether Prof. De Genova possesses the minimal level of intelligence necessary to be a Professor in the Dept of Anthropology, one that once housed the likes of Ruth Benedict, Franz Boas and Margaret Mead.
        The first piece of evidence is the following letter, written by Prof. De Genova to explain his comments at the teach-in.

To the Editor:
Spectator, now for the second time in less than a year, has succeeded to quote me in a remarkably decontextualized and inflammatory manner. In Margaret Hunt Gram's report on the faculty teach-in against the war in Iraq (March 27, 2003), I am quoted as wishing for a million Mogadishus but with no indication whatsoever of the perspective that framed that remark. It is hardly surprising, therefore, that your Staff Editorial in the same issue, denouncing the teach-in for "dogmatism," situates me in particular as the premier example of an academic "launching tirades against anything and everything American."
In my brief presentation, I outlined a long history of U.S. invasions, wars of conquest, military occupations, and colonization in order to establish that imperialism and white supremacy have been constitutive of U.S. nation-state formation and U.S. nationalism. In that context, I stressed the necessity of repudiating all forms of U.S. patriotism. I also emphasized that the disproportionate majority of U.S. troops come from racially subordinated and working-class backgrounds and are in the military largely as a consequence of a treacherous lack of prospects for a decent life. Nonetheless, I emphasized that U.S. troops are indeed confronted with a choice--to perpetrate this war against the Iraqi people or to refuse to fight and contribute toward the defeat of the U.S. war machine.
        I also affirmed that Iraqi liberation can only be effected by the Iraqi people themselves, both by resisting and defeating the U.S. invasion as well as overthrowing a regime whose brutality was long sustained by none other than the U.S. Such an anti-colonial struggle for self-determination might involve a million Mogadishus now but would ultimately have to become something more like another Vietnam. Vietnam was a stunning defeat for U.S. imperialism; as such, it was also a victory for the cause of human self-determination.
Is this a tirade against "anything and everything American"? Far from it. First, I hasten to remind you that "American" refers to all of the Americas, not merely to the United States, as U.S. imperial chauvinism would have it. More importantly, my rejection of U.S. nationalism is an appeal to liberate our own political imaginations such that we might usher in a radically different world in which we will not remain the prisoners of U.S. global domination
.
---Nicholas De Genova

        Notice the cant words and phrases that substitute for thought ("decontextualized", "situates me", "constitutive of") the ungrammatical assertions ("Spectator...has succeeded to quote me...") the meaningless word salad ("...largely as a consequence of the treacherous lack of prospects for a decent life.") And then the cliches straight from Uncle Joe Stalin's handbook for American Communists: "..long history of U.S. invasions, wars of conquest...", blah, blah, blah, "...imperialism, white supremacy...anti-colonial struggle for self-determination", blah, blah, blah. And finally, notice the utter absence of logical thought; in his exculpatory letter Prof. De Genova adds to his call for a million Mogadishus b