HEADLINES FROM TOMORROW’S NEW YORK TIMES—“The Sky is falling, the sky is falling…”
For those who do not see The New York Times regularly, the Sunday, September 21, 2003, front page had seven stories on it. One had news content and six had the usual Times’ Henny Penny stories—stories that are not about news or events but about social issues or trends that worry, or warn, or whine, or caution, or fear, usually expressing a black, or gay, or womens’, or European point of view. Here are some that might appear in the next edition.
CURE FOR CANCER FOUND BY U.S. DOCS
Many Ask What Took So Long
Relatives of Dead Ask Congress to Investigate
SOME IN ARMY SAY IRAQ TOO HOT
Pentagon Faulted For Not Providing Pools
Armed Forces Committee Meets
GAY MAN SLIPS ON BANANA PEEL, BREAKS LEG
Hate Crime Suspected
Congress to Investigate
MORE BLACKS BECOME MIDDLE CLASS—STUDY FINDS
Black Caucus Sees Racist Plot to Eliminate Poor
Some see Cautionary Tale
STATUE OF LIBERTY ENDANGERED
France Wants It Returned—Accuses Bush of Crimes Against Food
Powell Called Before Congress
BROADWAY SHOW MAY CLOSE AFTER 16 YEARS
Mourn Loss of Nations Creativity—Will Broadway Become Dark?
Congressional Investigation Planned
NATIONAL WEATHER IMPROVES—STUDY SHOWS
Environmentalists Alarmed—Blame Bush
Daschle Plans Filibuster
AMERICA LOVES CHAMPIONS
But What About the Losers, Some Ask
Loss of Self-esteem May be Irreversible Psychologists Assert
Congressional Investigation Urged
WORLD ENDS: Women and Minorities Hardest Hit.
Posted by: Stephen on September 22, 2003 02:19 AMToo funny!
Posted by: Frank on September 22, 2003 08:09 AMSKY FALLS
Posted by: Rita on September 22, 2003 12:07 PMHenny Penny Vindicated
Appointed Executive Editor of Times
BLOGGER SEES LATEST DEMOGRAPHICS!
Posted by: Oledamus on September 22, 2003 05:06 PMTimes Headlines reflect fact that Whites are NYC Minority!
NEW FLASH CLINTON ISN'T PRESIDENT
(ANYMORE AND YET)
A US Marine guard at the White House was approached by a tourist from Bakersfield, California.
The man said, "Is this the White House?"
The Marine guard answered, "Yes, Sir! "
The man said "I demand to see President Clinton!"
The Marine responded, "I'm sorry, Sir, but Mr. Clinton is no longer president."
Later that afternoon the man returned and asked the same question. The following day and the day after he asked the same question. Finally after having been asked the same question numerous times the Marine guard finally lost his bearing. He said: "Excuse me, Sir, but why do you keep asking me if Mr. Clinton is still president? He is not president anymore!
The man from Bakersfield smiled and said, "I know that. I just enjoy hearing it!
When people asked me to find one good thing to say about Mr. Clinton I used to say "well he won't be president forever". But now I'm kind of worried.
"How's that, Sir, " said the Marine guard.
"Someone else is knocking on the white house back door besides me."
"Who's that, Sir?
" Ms. Hillary R. Clinton."
"Oh, Sir," said the guard, " I wouldn't concern myself. We are keeping a close guard on the White House silver...what's left of it anyway!"
Posted by: Ricardo Munro on September 24, 2003 01:36 AMPointless humor, Ricardo. Doesn't even meet the "funny" test, and misses its target.
Posted by: Frank on September 24, 2003 09:22 AMSorry you didn't like it...it was a big hit it Bakersfield among a crowd of ex-Marines and ex-Air Force and Navy types. But it just goes to show you the cultural divide between the heartland and the elite of the cities. The Clintons are hated, despised and distrusted in many quarters and right behind them is Gray Davis (Dr. Evil) and El Busto Bustamente (mini-mi clone of Davis). The CLintons like the NYT have a well-documented disrespect for the Marine Corps and have made enemies who will never rest or respect a pair of questionable integrity who had to vamoose from their own "home state" and hide out in a New York City suburb so that Madam Hillary could run for Senate in New York City and be honorable president of the NOW-gang.
Posted by: Ricardo Munro on September 26, 2003 11:10 PMTHE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY.
Go take your medicine now.
Posted by: Hired Contrarian on September 27, 2003 12:01 PM