BREAKING NEWS: SADDAM TO SEEK EXILE
Baghdad Public Radio: Flash! 1-30-03
Saddam Hussein accepts asylum offer.
In a statement issued simultaneously in Baghdad on BPR and Malibu Beach on NPR, Saddam Hussein announced that, in the interest of world peace, he, his son Uday, and his professional rapist retainers were accepting "the kind offer of Ms. Sue Sarandon". In his statement, his excellency added, "we had to choose from among many generous offers of asylum and I want to thank all my friends in Hollywood, from Sean Penn to Barbra Streisand; friends in the literary world like Gore Vidal and Norman Mailer, and such eminent Post-modernists as Susan Sontag and Edward Said, as well as journalists like Maureen Dowd. Each of these useful idiots-excuse me- noble peace lovers, recognizes the threat to world peace posed by the Zionist President Bush. I decided on the offer from Ms. Sarandon, not because I was turned on by that love scene with Kevin Costner in Bull Durham, but because she is a true peace lover: she recognizes the importance of my basic research on anthrax, plague and smallpox. She understands the value of my experimental studies on the effect of stressors like rape, torture and slow chemical death on the human organism. And most importantly she realizes that the main menace to world peace is the United States and its ally, Great Britain. As she so eloquently put it: "What's happened to Blair? I don't understand his reasoning or his logic. I don't understand his evolution. I can see him being seduced by Clinton but don't understand what him and Bush speak about."
His excellency closed with the hope that "I will be able to contribute to political dialogue in America; perhaps I might help the Democratic party choose its candidate and write its platform since there are so many of its leaders who agree with my view that regime change in America is vital if we are to achieve lasting peace."
ACTUALLY, BEFORE MAKING UP HIS MIND ABOUT PERMANENT LODGINGS, SADDAM IS SPENDING SOME TIME IN THE HAMPTONS HOSTED BY ALEC BALDWIN. AS SUE SARANDON WOULD SAY "HIM AND ALEC HAVE MUCH TO TALK ABOUT."
Posted by: RUTH KING on January 31, 2003 09:35 AM